Doctor’s Advice:I think I’m in love with two guys – Jamaica Gleaner

Doc, is it possible to be in love with two boys at once? I am a 17-year-old female, and my mind is confused. I do not know whether I should go to bed with either of these two guys.

I have always believed that love must be the greatest thing in the world, and at the end of April, when I met a guy at a dance in Port Antonio, I was completely carried away by him. I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever seen! A week later, he kissed me for the first time, and I felt I was in Heaven.

But last week, I happened to meet another guy, slightly older and in a good job. He is nice, and he complimented me on my dress and said how beautiful I looked. He has kissed me twice – just briefly. Now, I find myself thinking of him night and day. He has asked me for a date next week,

but on the night before that, I am due to see the other guy! And he has made it pretty clear that he is expecting to have sex with me.

Doctor, my thoughts are in a whirl. I think I love both guys. Should I date them both?

A: I think that like quite a few young women, you are ‘in love with love’. You have grown up believing that ‘love is wonderful’, and now, having been kissed by two young men, you think that you love both of them.

In fact, it is not possible to love two people because real love involves total dedication to one person alone.

I am sorry to be brutally frank, but I forecast that in a couple of years, you will look back on this episode and wonder how on Earth you could have felt that you loved either of these guys. And they may well have forgotten all about you.

So what should you do now? In my view, the vital thing is that you should not go to bed with either of them. To have sex with both guys would be asking for trouble and could lead to all sorts of crazy complications, particularly if you were to get pregnant.

I think that the best thing to do now is to decide which of the young men you like more.

Tell the other one that next week’s date is off. You don’t have to give reasons.

When you do go on the date with your chosen guy, please remember that having sex is not obligatory. It is perfectly possible to kiss and cuddle without having intercourse.

You are only 17, and it would be wise to hang on to your virginity for a while.

I am 21, and my fiancée is 22. We are desperate to have a baby, but we cannot do so.

Doc, the reason for this is simply that I cannot discharge inside her. I do not know why.

I can orgasm if she strokes me or if I masturbate, but when I am in her body, I just cannot manage it.

So we are wondering if that artificial insemination thing would help us to have the baby we want. Could we do it ourselves?

A: Well, the first thing to say is that you clearly have a well-known male disorder called delayed ejaculation or DE. You can look this up on the ‘Net, and you will see that it is a psychological thing. It is not your fault.

It can be treated by a therapist who is skilled in sexual problems. And I urge you to try and find one. But treatment takes quite a while.

Now, let us turn to the question of artificial insemination (AI). This means putting your seminal fluid into your fiancée’s vagina, preferably as high up as possible. It would have to be done at about the time she is ovulating, which is generally around 12 to 14 days after the start of the menses.

A doctor who is experienced in fertility matters could do the AI for you, but the truth is that a lot of couples actually do it themselves, with the aid of a syringe, or even a long spoon. However, I think you would be wiser to seek medical advice.

Finally, I must ask you: What is the rush? Like many young couples, you are desperate to have a child, but wouldn’t it be more sensible to wait for a bit? In the meantime, you could get your DE cured and be able to climax during intercourse in the normal way. Then you would not have to bother with artificial insemination.

I went on the Pill a year ago. Ever since then I have had slight spotting of blood, usually on the same three days of the month, round about the time when I think I ovulate.

Why is this happening, Doc?

A: Slight spotting of blood is common during the first couple of months on the Pill, but it should have stopped by now.

My guess is that your present brand of Pill is a little too weak for you. So please go back to your doctor and ask him to prescribe a slightly stronger one. That should clear up the spotting.

Ever since I started having sex, which was around three months ago, I have had a yellowish-green discharge, and I am sore.

My doctor says it is due to something called ‘trichomonas’. She has given me a prescription for some tablets, but I have not gone and got them yet.

Is this trichomonas thing serious, Doc? And is it safe to take the tablets?

A: The full name of the ‘bug’ that has caused your discharge is trichomonas vaginalis (TV). It is a common cause of greenish-yellow discharge in young women.

It does not threaten your life, but it causes a lot of internal inflammation, so you need to get rid of it.

The standard treatment for TV is a drug called metronidazole (a.k.a. Flagyl). You take it twice for the day, and the course generally lasts a week. At the end of that time, the infection should be gone. So please get those pills from the pharmacy as soon as you can. They are safe, but don’t drink alcohol while on them.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the ‘Outlook Magazine’ tomorrow.